Biden Demands Answers After Repeated Calls To Look Outside For His Refrigerator Running

LAS VEGAS, NV - Last week, President Biden delivered an address about his administration's plan to make housing more affordable for low-income families by investing $258 billion into housing investments nationwide. While he stayed relatively on script for the majority of the speech, he once again worried the nation about his cognitive decline when he rambled on about prank calls he had been receiving lately. 

“You know what I want to know?” Biden said. “Why Donald Trump and MAGA Republicans are so opposed to people being able to live in a decent home at a decent price. You know what else I want to know? Who keeps calling me telling me to look outside because my refrigerator is running. No, I mean it. Every day for the past week I get a phone call right as I’m sitting down for lunch telling me to look out the window. It’s preposterous. Everyone knows refrigerators don’t have legs. If my fridge was running away, it would fly away or wheels would pop out the bottom and it would roll away like one of those robot guys from the Star Wars.” 

At the White House press conference that afternoon, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said, “I find it incredibly insulting that you would even suggest President Biden is confused enough to think that his refrigerator is running. Everything the President said this afternoon was merely a joke to lighten the mood of the affordable housing crisis created by Donald Trump.”

At press time, an NSA whistleblower revealed that the prank calls were coming from a number with a Chicago area code, which Redditors quickly pieced together as belonging to President Obama.