WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the 2024 election far in the back of their memory, Congressional Democrats took to the freezing cold streets outside the Capitol on Wednesday to protest the Trump administration's accomplishments in his first few weeks of office. 

The Democrats were joined by a posse of local activists, who were definitely not paid to be there, waving signs that contained no context like “TRUMP EVIL MAN” and “USAID = DEMOCRACY”.

While it's believed that the Democrats were upset about Trump’s radical audits on their deep state slush funds and money laundering schemes, it was unclear what specific executive orders, pieces of legislation, or budget cuts they were concerned about as each speaker screamed unintelligible, nonsense buzzwords and epithets just like they did on the campaign trail. 

According to one of the organizers, the rally was a chance for Democrats to prove that they are the party of rational discourse amidst Trump’s frantic actions. But that point failed to connect as even the highest-ranking Democrat attendees senselessly rambled on about Trump without really saying anything.

“We need to fight for the freedom that Trump is trying to cancel by eliminating our freedom to defend the freedom of free men and women all across the free world!” Senator Cory Booker shouted.

“Elon and the felon are turning the United States of America into the Soviet Union. He’s not just Hitler no more, he’s Super Hitler! Well guess what Mr. President - work will set us free!” Representative Jasmine Crockett proclaimed. 

“Everybody, say it with me: TRUMP AEU SWIE WJZLDI WOEUTHTN AJ NANA!” Senator Chris Van Hollen chanted.

At press time, Chuck Schumer was in the middle of filibustering Kash Patel’s full confirmation vote by reading aloud The Catcher In The Rye in German, which he claims is a metaphor for how Trump is destroying the United States.