Elon Musk Acquires The Gas Lamp For $293 Billion

AUSTIN, TX - Nearly a year after acquiring Twitter for more than $44 billion, billionaire Elon Musk makes another addition to his empire by purchasing The Gas Lamp for a whopping $293 billion. The move is being hailed as one of the best business decisions of Musk's career and one of the overall best acquisitions of the 21st century - especially by those critical of his radical transformation of Twitter. “It’s no secret that The Gas Lamp is the most well-respected name in news and their reputation as truth-tellers is second to none,” said Musk. “When I think about what’s right with America, I think about organizations like The Gas Lamp.” At press time, Musk said that he plans to take a different approach than Twitter by immediately investing $100 billion in The Gas Lamp to open headquarters in Hong Kong, Dubai, London, and Buenos Aires.