WASHINGTON, D.C. - After being sworn in as Speaker of the House for the 119th Congress, Mike Johnson (R-LA) proclaimed that he was eager to fulfill the mandate of the American people and enact Trump’s agenda. 

But what he didn’t know when he made that pledge was just how unhinged President Trump would be upon his return to D.C.

On Sunday night, Johnson reportedly received a call from Trump who told him to go outside and retrieve a package from his doorstep containing a sexy maid costume from Party City. He was then told, somewhat threateningly, that if he wanted his first full term as speaker to go smoothly he would wear it the next time the House convened.

Monday morning, Johnson burst through the House chamber doors and quickly walked to the podium with his head down, hoping not to draw attention to the practical joke. 

“We’re here to debate HR 2837,” Johnson said over the raucous laughter. “But before we do… Order… Order, please… before we do, I'd like to make a point of privilege that no one is allowed to comment on my attire today.”

Despite Johnson’s pleas, Republicans and Democrats found a brief moment of camaraderie as they continued to ridicule Speaker Johnson relentlessly - which some think was a part of President Trump’s plan the whole time.  

A few minutes later, the House went silent as Senator John Fetterman kicked through the chamber doors to defend Johnson’s bold outfit.  

“I think what he’s doing is incredible,” Senator Fetterman proclaimed. “There’s nothing in the rules that says you can’t wear a maid’s outfit in the House chamber. But tell me, Mr. Speaker, do you bring your own cleaning supplies, or do you need us to provide them.”

As pandemonium broke out again, Speaker Johnson cut his losses and scurried out. 

At press time, President Trump said that as his next act of hazing, he would make new Senate Majority Leader John Thune run around the National Mall wearing the turtle costume from The Master of Disguise.