Hunter Biden Tells Nancy Mace He Might Take Her Home If She Keeps Talking To Him Like That

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hunter Biden stunned Congress on Wednesday when he crashed the House Oversight Committee meeting designated to hold him in contempt for refusing to testify at a previous deposition in December. 

Biden’s surprise appearance immediately sparked outrage among the many of the Republicans committee members – most notably Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) who shouted, “You have no balls...You are the epitome of white privilege…I think that Hunter Biden should be arrested right here, right now and he should go straight to jail.”

“That really got me going,” Biden later said. “I gave her a wink after she was done and I swear she started to blush. Then I tried to find her after the hearing and tell her that if she kept talking to me like that, I might have to take her home and make her put her money where her mouth is. Take me to jail? You can do that anytime you want Nancy. I don’t know what it is, but all these charges and subpoenas are making me hornier than finding a naked sorority girl in my hotel room with a clean, new crack pipe.” 

At press time, Biden was seen pacing through the halls of Congress holding a small, festively-wrapped box over his crotch asking random staffers if they knew where Nancy’s office was.