Local Dad Sends Another Text To “Family” Group Chat Containing No Members Of His Family

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA - Despite numerous warnings from his children, local dad Ted Blumhouse continued to inundate acquaintances and old coworkers with outdated memes, offensive jokes, and broken links to conspiracy theories in what he thinks is his family’s group chat. 

“HahaaHaja,” Ted texted along with a flurry of gifs of Borat, the Impractical Jokers, and the gopher from Caddyshack. “If you don’t think that’s funny, you have no sense of humor,” he continued before sending a link to an InfoWars article about how Hillary Clinton killed Jeffrey Epstein.  

Since his latest barrage of texts, which according to sources comes randomly every few weeks, a handful of the group's members have attempted to leave the chat and tell him to stop. “Ted, please delete my number,” former coworker Jerry Lyman wrote back. But that hasn’t stopped Mr. Blumhouse from recreating the group chat with the exact same individuals every month.

When Mr. Blumhouse asked his family members why nobody responded to his texts and kept leaving the chat, they insisted that they had no idea what he was talking about - a reply just he assumed was a sign of the increasing distance between him and his family. 

At press time, Mr. Blumhouse was preparing to send a joke about Jews that would have surely gotten him canceled on social media.