Meet Scruffles, The Shiba Inu Tasked With Deciding Which Gov’t Departments Get Cut

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy sent shock waves through the halls of Congress on Thursday in their first joint visit to our nation’s Capitol since being nominated as the heads of the new Department of Government Efficiency. 

Amongst the two billionaires were Musk's son, X, Speaker Mike Johnson, and Scruffles - the Shiba Inu who’s been tasked with making the final decision on which government departments are going to be cut under D.O.G.E. 

“We’re proud to introduce Scruffles,” Musk said in a press conference later that afternoon. “He’s a very good boy and will be pivotal in helping us make split decisions on which government departments to cut. For example, if I want to cut the Department of Interior but my friend Vivek wants to cut the Department of Transportation, we’ll simply let Scruffles control fate.”

At the end of the press conference, Musk demonstrated their plan by placing two buckets at the bottom of the Capitol steps, each marked with the logo of two of the fifteen executive departments. He then put Scuffles at the top of the stairs and threw him a ball, which the dog hit back into one of the two buckets. 

At press time, Musk and Ramaswamy announced that they would subject Dr. Fauci to indentured servitude in pampering Scruffles and picking up his poop for the next 15 years.