{"id":237,"date":"2026-01-04T20:18:42","date_gmt":"2026-01-05T01:18:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gaslampnews.com\/website_8e428cea\/?p=237"},"modified":"2026-01-04T21:12:09","modified_gmt":"2026-01-05T02:12:09","slug":"only-way-out-man-contemplates-suicide-after-ending-up-on-too-many-email-lists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gaslampnews.com\/website_8e428cea\/only-way-out-man-contemplates-suicide-after-ending-up-on-too-many-email-lists\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Way Out: Man Contemplates Suicide After Ending Up on Too Many Email Lists"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NEWARK, NJ \u2013 Scrolling through hundreds of promotional emails that piled up during his vacation, local man Tommy DiSorbo stared contemplatively at a rope in his garage, slowly realizing that the only escape from the relentless stream of email lists might be the sweet release of death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI just can\u2019t take it anymore,\u201d DiSorbo mumbled, letting the rope slip through his fingers. \u201cFifteen percent off at Petco? I don\u2019t have pets. A flash sale at Dave\u2019s Discount Furniture? Where is that? And who the hell is Suzanne Vargas, running for Ward 5 City Council? Make it stop!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As he searched online for instructions on tying a noose, DiSorbo briefly recalled the pride he felt at 15 when he got his first email address.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, 21 years later, that distant memory pales in comparison to the frustration of trying to unsubscribe from countless email lists, only to find himself on even more the following week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">DiSorbo snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his young daughter calling from the living room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As he went to attend to her, another wave of despair hit him after receiving an Amazon notification for discounted high chairs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NEWARK, NJ \u2013 Scrolling through hundreds of promotional emails that piled up during his vacation, local man Tommy DiSorbo stared contemplatively at a rope in his garage, slowly realizing 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