PORTLAND, OR – Local waitress Tammy Watson was fired from Wandering Spirit Brewery on Saturday for showing up to work not reeking of body odor, sporting cleaned and combed hair, and – perhaps the most egregious offense – having shaved armpits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe really dropped the ball hiring her in the first place,\u201d the brewery\u2019s general manager said. \u201cWe pride ourselves on creating a safe, inclusive space for everyone. Especially those who don\u2019t conform to the traditional beauty standards portrayed in the mainstream media and forced upon us by the corporate oligarchy. Shaving, especially armpits, is the kind of cis-normative behavior that creates a toxic workplace and is absolutely not accepted here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked about her firing, Ms. Watson was distraught, saying, \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to offend anybody. Ask anyone, I\u2019m just as socialist as the next comrade. I even wrote in Che Guevara for Congress in the last election. The only reason I shaved that morning was to impress the cute barista girl at the co-op coffee shop on Main Street. How could I be so stupid?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite Ms. Watson\u2019s defense, her fellow waitresses were quick to distance themselves from someone so controversial and polarizing. \u201cI\u2019m literally shaking,\u201d said one of the bartenders. \u201cThat kind of self-grooming is the first step to becoming a fascist. It won\u2019t be long before she starts voting for Donald Trump or sieg-heiling at sports games.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At press time, the brewery\u2019s general manager was seen putting up \u2018help wanted\u2019 signs after nearly half the staff quit in protest of the brewery\u2019s radical hiring policies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
PORTLAND, OR – Local waitress Tammy Watson was fired from Wandering Spirit Brewery on Saturday for showing up to work not reeking of body odor, sporting cleaned and combed hair, and – perhaps the most egregious offense – having shaved armpits. \u201cWe really dropped the ball hiring her in the first place,\u201d the brewery\u2019s general […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-302","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local"],"yoast_head":"\n