NEW YORK CITY, NY – On Friday, the last un-pranked man in New York City, who has asked to remain anonymous, revealed his secrets to avoid being publicly embarrassed on national television longer than anyone else. \u201cThe key is to cover up everything, stay low, and don\u2019t trust anything around you,\u201d the man said. \u201cTry to always go out at night – only go out in the day if you need to go to a doctor\u2019s appointment every few years. You\u2019d be surprised how much fresh food you can get at a 24-hour bodega,\u201d he rambled on. \u201cI haven\u2019t seen my family in 15 years. What if I go home for Thanksgiving and all of a sudden, the woman I think is my mom takes off her mask and it\u2019s Sal Volcano, who\u2019s now my second dad. Or what if I meet the woman of my dreams and fall deeply in love with her before realizing it\u2019s Eric Andre in a wig and a dress. Nuh uh\u2026 Not me, pal.\u201d At press time, the anonymous man insisted on confirming he definitely wasn\u2019t \u201can Antifa,\u201d and refused to acknowledge Joe Biden as our real president because it\u2019s really just Ashton Kutcher fulfilling a dare.
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NEW YORK CITY, NY – On Friday, the last un-pranked man in New York City, who has asked to remain anonymous, revealed his secrets to avoid being publicly embarrassed on national television longer than anyone else. \u201cThe key is to cover up everything, stay low, and don\u2019t trust anything around you,\u201d the man said. \u201cTry […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":315,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-local"],"yoast_head":"\n