2025 Oscars Makes History With Record Number Of People Who Don’t Care

Wicked Anora, Adrien Brody, and the other weird-looking Culkin guy are the top-trending themes from the 97th Academy Awards.

Why? Nobody knows.

According to Nielsen, this year’s Oscars garnered just 19.5 million viewers - a drop of nearly 26 million viewers from just ten years ago. 

And a poll released by Gallup on Monday showed that the majority of Americans know that those internet buzzwords have something to do with movies, but can’t really pinpoint what they mean.

Despite the general lack of interest from the American public, presenters and award winners at last night’s event each took turns explaining to the world why their work is so important to the well-being of mankind.

Sadly, the majority of Americans struggling to keep up with the looming threats of inflation, World War III, or losing their jobs tomorrow don’t seem to understand just how integral these multi-millionaire narcissists are to their lives. 

“People will say that what we do doesn’t matter,” Ben Stiller said from his malfunctioning platform. “They will try to deny us our humanity and throw us in camps. But without us, the actors, writers, directors, and artists who tell stories, the world would stop spinning.”

At press time, a group of Hollywood A-listers co-signed a letter slamming the Trump administration for the low viewership numbers and fostering a “dangerous culture of not paying attention to celebrities.”