Trump Kicks Zelensky Out Of White House For Siding With Justin Baldoni Over Blake Lively

WASHINGTON, D.C. - On Friday afternoon, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky visited the White House to discuss potential solutions to ending the war with Russia. 

While the meeting started off on a positive note, it quickly turned sour when Trump and Zelensky began to argue about the history of the conflict and who was responsible for what. 

The final straw, however, came when Zelensky mentioned that he sided with Justin Baldoni in the ongoing Hollywood feud with Blake Lively.

“What my country is going through is just like what Justin Baldoni is going through. All he did was show up on set and try his best to do his job before that slut invaded his text messages with sexually suggestive innuendos and flirtatious messages. Then he’s the one who gets blamed for trying to make a pass at her,” the Ukrainian president said.

Trump, being a fan of big-breasted blonde women, immediately jumped to Lively’s defense and slammed Zelensky for taking such an absurd stance. 

“You listen here pal, Blake is a loving mother and wife to one of the most adoring, kind, funny men in America. Frankly, I don’t think you know what you're talking about. She is the victim here, and if you don’t understand that, then I don’t think the United States can do anything to help you,” President Trump snapped back.

As Trump briskly escorted Zelensky out of the White House, he chastised him for not understanding American celebrity drama and gave him a DVD copy of the 94th Academy Awards - where Will Smith famously slapped Chris Rock on stage - as homework before his next visit to Washington. 

At press time, Zelensky was seen picking up the paper outside his hotel door wearing a tattered ‘Free O.J.’ t-shirt.