LAS VEGAS, NV - On Tuesday, President Biden made another embarrassing gaffe at a campaign rally when he told supporters about a conversation he had in the summer of 2021 with former French president Francois Mitterrand, who died in 1996. After the rally, Biden further worried the country about his feeble mental state by telling reporters that he had his top generals and military strategists developing a strong counteroffensive plan against the Houthis in Iran. 

“I’ve got my best guys on it. Genra Dwida Eisenhower and Ulsa Grant are putting together a plan. It’s a fantastic plan. It’s a plan that will send a message to Iran to frop brunde rematation with terrorists,” the President said. “Those guys took down the Nazis, took down the Confederates, and took down low poll numbers. I’m combident they can do the same against the Saddam Hussein and the Arabians.”

Later that afternoon at the White House Press Briefing, Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre defended Biden’s blunders despite heavy criticism from the press corp, saying, “President Biden is as mentally well-balanced as physically possible. What he meant was that he was inspired by the brave, heroic, and bold actions those men took to defend our nation in the faces of evil and how he’s using their tactics to defend our country against terrorists in the Middle East.” Looking directly at Fox News’ Peter Doocy, who hadn’t yet asked a question, she continued, “The fact that you would suggest that President Biden thinks presidents Eisenhower and Grant are still alive prove to me that you are the one who is delusional.”

At press time, President Biden was seen chasing down two elderly men walking out of his rally who resembled our 18th and 34th presidents before Secret Service agents corralled him and forced him into his limousine.