COLUMBUS, OH - Shortly after Kamala Harris was caught changing the tone of her speech and body language to different audiences again, a group of chameleons at the Columbus Zoo held a press conference to condemn her behavior and distance them from the Vice President.

“On behalf of chameleons across the country, we condemn Vice President Harris’ actions. Changing the color of our skin is how we evade deadly predators. We don’t do it for political gain. We don’t do it for attention. We do it to survive.” a representative for chameleons said. 

At a campaign rally later that day, Kamala Harris scoffed at the idea that she acted like a chameleon and promised that her administration would do everything they could to lower the cost of grasshoppers, berries, and other everyday goods. 

Despite her promises, the majority of chameleons aren’t convinced. Her approval rating amongst chameleons remains at 29% - the lowest amongst all land-based reptiles - with many saying that they don’t trust the Vice President for supporting open cages and putting their families at risk of violence from illegal birds and snakes. 

At press time, chameleon influencers reported that the Harris campaign offered to pay them to post organic endorsement videos on YouTube and TikTok.