TRENTON, NJ - In an effort to attract support from rival presidential campaigns, the Christie for President campaign promises free gabagool to volunteers who knock more than 100 doors. “Just like Americans are tired of hearing about Donald Trump’s legal issues, they’re tired of being offered free pizza and soda at campaign events,” said Mercer County Regional Field Director, Mike Johnson. “That’s why we’re offering gabagool, prosciutto, salami and other meats to volunteers who are truly committed to beating Joe Biden by electing the only Republican candidate who has beaten a democrat in a  blue state and who knows what it takes to get America back on track.” At press time, a senior spokesperson with the campaign admitted that keeping their campaign offices stocked with cold cuts was the only way to motivate the former New Jersey Governor to make campaign stops.