First All-Female Crew Set To Make History By Bringing Record Number Of Sandwiches To Space

KENT, WASHINGTON – Six women, including Katy Perry and Gayle King, are preparing to blast off in a historic space launch next week.

Aside from the fact that it will be the first all-female crew to achieve such a feat, the passengers aim to break the record for the most number of sandwiches brought to space.

“We’ve been training so hard for this trip,” Katy Perry told The Gas Lamp on Wednesday. “I’ve made 200, maybe 300 sandwiches in preparation. I’ve got calluses on my hands from all the jars of mayonnaise and mustard I’ve had to open, and my whole house smells like cold cuts. I really hope the aliens we meet up there will enjoy them.”

According to Blue Origin founder, Jeff Bezos, the flight aims to provide valuable research for a new zero-gravity sandwich-making machine Amazon is in the process of developing. Bezos also mentioned he hopes the publicity from the flight will help Blue Origin get a leg up on rival Elon Musk’s SpaceX in the race to develop a livable colony on Mars. 

At press time, Bezos announced he was planning to stock the spacecraft with as many dirty dishes as possible to make sure the ladies had something fun to do during the long journey.