Harris Campaign Tells Mark Cuban To Stop Interviewing And Just Make Sandwiches For The Staff

DALLAS, TX - After getting in hot water again for insulting Donald Trump and his female supporters, the Harris campaign told billionaire surrogate Mark Cuban to stop doing interviews and make sandwiches for the tired and hungry staff members. 

According to an official statement from the campaign, “Mark Cuban will be taking on a new role in these final days by shifting his focus to fueling a Harris victory on a grassroots level.” At the time of the announcement, the Maverick’s owner was seen shamefully dragging his feet to the dimly lit kitchen in the back of Harris’ Texas campaign headquarters. 

An anonymous source close to the Vice President told The Gas Lamp that Kamala is furious with Cuban and has even threatened to send him to Cuba if he opens his mouth one more time. 

Before losing wifi in the campaign office kitchen, Cuban issued a cryptic apology on X, saying, “I apologize for suggesting that women who are considering voting for Trump are stupid. But the point I was trying to make is that Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are the slices of bread that will keep this country together and unite both flavors of the United States.” 

At press time, some Harris volunteers reported that the mix of loud sobbing and expletives coming from the kitchen were demoralizing the team in the final stretch.