Trump And Harris Remain Turkey Neck And Turkey Neck In The Polls On Election Eve

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As Americans get ready to head to the polls, President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris - who are both showing their age after a long election and stints in Washington - remain neck and neck… or as critics and dermatologists say, turkey neck and turkey neck. 

While the two haven’t wasted any breath slamming each other on policies or things they’ve said on the campaign trail, many Americans are wondering why they haven’t spent more time attacking their painfully obvious aging facial and neck skin.

But according to some Washington experts, turkey necks have a unique history in the nation’s capital and are often associated with strength and power in D.C. circles. 

“A lot of people don’t know this but having a long or pronounced turkey neck draws a great deal of respect in D.C. and is often a key indicator of how quickly an elected official rises through the ranks. It’s a cultural tradition just like Chinese foot binding or Mayan cranial reformation,” a political historian told The Gas Lamp. 

And while it’s long been known that the burden of being president has the ability to significantly age those who take the job, defined turkey necks have been a critically overlooked measure of success in the careers of leaders like Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell, and Diane Feinstein.

Despite the election remaining too close to call, recent polls show Trump with a slight edge over Harris due to the clear superiority he poses in saggy neck skin.