Man Worried That Crumbling Stock Market Will Tank Value Of His Beanie Babies Collection

DES MOINES, IL - As stock markets around the world continue to plummet, 44-year-old Kevin Smith was reportedly up all night out of fear that Trump’s tariffs would tank the value of his coveted Beanie Babies collection.

“I’m absolutely terrified,” Smith told The Gas Lamp. “My most valuable investments are at risk thanks to President Trump. Pinchers the Crab, my limited edition Bicentennial Bear, even my pristine-condition Princess Diana memorial bear. Worth nearly nothing!”

Smith, who has been amassing his plush empire since the height of the Beanie Baby craze in the late 1990s, claims his meticulously curated collection is worth a staggering self-reported $1.7 million. However, he now fears that the ongoing market volatility could slash its value by nearly half, potentially plummeting to a mere $900,000 by the end of the week.

When asked about how he arrived at his collection's valuation, Smith explained that it was a combination of his own extensive market research on eBay listings and online collector forums, and valuations derived from the well-worn pages of his trusty 1995 Almanac of Beanie Babies.

At press time, Smith’s anxiety reached new heights when he realized that Trump’s tariffs might devastate the collectible stamps' economy, potentially delaying his chances of retiring even further.