Trump Raises The Stakes On China By Leaving One Star Reviews On Hundreds Of Chinese Restaurants

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an attempt to get an upper hand in the escalating trade war with China, President Trump left one-star Yelp reviews on dozens of Chinese restaurants on Monday.

The spicy move comes after China called President Trump's bluff and raised its tariffs on the United States, sparking global economic uncertainty and leaving a hot and sour taste in Trump's mouth.

"General Tso was weak and pathetic. Couldn't take over western China, and can't cook chicken," Trump wrote in one review. "Hot! Hot! Hot! The Sichuan noodles were hotter than Hunter Biden’s laptop. Horrible!" he stated in another scathing review. "Moo Shu pork? More like moove the hell out of here and shu out of the United States. Looked like dog crap and tasted even worse!

After slamming dozens of small business owners who had no ties to the Chinese government, President Trump took to X to mobilize the MAGA base against what he called "shady Communist cells disguised as restaurants." He posted, "Effective immediately, I'm declaring Chinese food overrated and cancelled. It’s too salty, too hard to pronounce, and NOT America first. We will not stand for this culinary assault on our country any longer. Sad!"

At press time, Trump demanded DHHS Secretary RFK Jr. promote a more America First 17th century agrarian diet since pizza, burgers, tacos, and all the other good foods come from “stupid, America Last countries”.