Newest Marvel Superhero Saves The World With ‘Girl Power’

BURBANK, CA - On Sunday, Marvel released a teaser trailer for their latest movie featuring She Girl  - a new superhero who defeats bad guys with jaw-dropping powers like writing mean things about the villain in her diary, flirting with the villains best friend to make him jealous, not liking the villains posts on Instagram, and posting a passive aggressive Tik Toks dubbing Taylor Swift breakup songs. “We’re super excited for this new project,” said Marvel Studios President, Kevin Feige. “So far, we’ve put around $600 million into the movie - nearly double what we spent on Avengers: Infinity War - because we’re confident boys and girls alike will see that She Girl is the most badass character we’ve ever put on screen.” Despite the studio’s high hopes for the film, movie-goers seem far less enthused as local news outlets recently reported that Mr. Feige hurled slurs like “sexist pieces of shit” and “inbred troglodytes”, amongst other things, at three separate focus groups before kicking them out of the studio for asking too many questions about the plot and giving bad reviews. The movie will be released in theaters January 15, 2024.