Trump Hires New Legal Team Who Promises “Swift Justice” For Former President

NEW YORK, NY - Just before entering a New York civil court on Tuesday, Donald Trump held a press conference to announce that he had hired a new legal team headed by Albuquerque criminal defense attorney, Saul Goodman. The former President was confident that Mr. Goodman and his associates would clear him of any and all charges, saying, “Today I’m happy to announce that I’ve selected the very best to head up my legal team - Saul Goodman. He’s a good man, Goodman. Better call Saul as they say. A lot of people, a lot of very smart people, have told me for years that I should hire this guy, and I’m glad I finally did. Saul knows how to spin ‘em and win ‘em.” 

After nearly 20 minutes of speaking in which President Trump remained adamant that his team would diligently prove the 2020 election was stolen, Mr. Goodman took the podium and said, “The charges my client is facing are absolute bogus and the prosecutors accusing Mr. Trump of such absurdities are parasites on the system of blind justice that this country was founded upon. I’m confident that he will be righteously cleared of all charges and that swift justice will be brought down against the perpetrators of this witch hunt.” 

At press time, a spokesperson for the former President refused to acknowledge if Trump knew that Saul Goodman was a fictional character and promptly ignored questions into the his campaign’s recent FEC report which listed a $300 expenditure for Talent For You - a local celebrity impersonator-for-hire company.