RFK Jr. Lets Sick Babies Cough On Him To Prove Measles Isn’t That Bad

LUBBOCK, TX - After fielding a handful of questions from reporters on the Texas measles outbreak, DHHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. took matters into his own hands to assuage the nation’s fears and prove that the disease isn’t as bad as people think. 

When President Trump’s cabinet meeting ended Wednesday afternoon, RFK Jr. headed straight to Reagan International and hopped on the first flight to Lubbock. 

While there, he went door to door, asking families if they had any children infected with measles. If they did, he begged them to let the sick kids cough on him so he could catch the disease and show everyone there was nothing to worry about.

“Please! Please let me see your sick child,” Kennedy raspily shouted at housemoms throughout the neighborhood. “Big Pharma wants you to believe that you are all going to die from measles, but I am here to prove that it is a bunch of bologna.”

Much to his surprise, some parents granted Kennedy his wish, but only because they hoped his hypothesis would fall flat and he’d die from the infection.

“Sure Bobby, you can have it. Go ahead, see what our families are dealing with. I hope you suffer, you miserable piece of shit!” one angry mom screamed back as she held her baby inches away from his face.

At press time, RFK Jr. was seen drinking something he called an ‘Ebola smoothie’ filled with viral diseases to prove that vaccines are useless.