TSA Implements Mandatory DNA Sampling for Travelers

Following the recent mandate for showing a REAL ID, the TSA went one step further in their efforts to maximize the security of air travel by forcing passengers to submit a DNA sample in order to verify their identity.

“Passengers must provide a skin graft, saliva sample, hair strand, or other biological material – including fecal matter or seminal fluid – to confirm their identity,” a bothered agent said over the loudspeaker at LAX.

According to the TSA’s official website, these new procedures are expected to extend check-in times by an estimated three to four hours. It also states that non-compliant travelers may be subject to an even more stringent security measure by making them submit as many as six personal and professional references which will each need to be cleared. The agency insists that the measures are essential to prevent terrorist threats.

A whistleblower revealed that while all passengers face these rigorous checks, the TSA is focusing heightened scrutiny on individuals deemed “high-risk,” such as elderly women and children under seven.

At press time, the TSA announced plans for an additional security measure, requiring travelers to complete a six-week aviation engineering course before boarding.