NEW YORK CITY, NY - On Monday, President Trump announced that he is going to immediately freeze federal aid to foreign countries for 90 days while his administration sorts out their funding priorities. 

But according to the super ethical and integral journalists at MSNBC, Trump is planning to use a giant cartoonish ray gun to literally freeze the entire populations of countries he doesn’t like and inject them with AIDS. 

An anonymous source revealed that the article was written by one of MSNBC’s most senior journalists who frantically scribbled notes during President Trump’s press conference and posted it before he was finished speaking. 

“It sounded like he was losing his mind,” the source told The Gas Lamp. “He would mumble something under his breath then shout ‘FREEZE PEOPLE’. Then he’d mumble some more and shout ‘AIDS’. He sounded like Mr. Crocker from that show Fairly Odd Parents.” 

At press time, MSNBC issued a correction to their report, claiming that President Trump wasn’t going to literally freeze people, but force other nations to play games of freeze tag between each other to earn the right not to be infected with AIDS.