Man In Crappy Apartment Gym Gazes Wistfully At Sexy People In Penthouse Equinox

NEW YORK, NY – Two weeks into his New Year’s resolution to get in shape, local chubster Caleb Smith faced his toughest challenge when, shortly after struggling through a set of dumbbell curls in his grimy apartment gym, he noticed the glistening array of sexy people powering through their workouts in perfect form at the penthouse Equinox across the street. Despite the ironically placed tattered ‘No Pain, No Gain’ poster on the wall, the sight of the shredded adonises quickly made him realize that he wasn’t meant to be a ‘gym baddie’ and considered never coming back. In a last-ditch attempt to re-ignite the spark, he told himself that if the 1,000-pound sisters could do it, he damn well could, too. As a compromise, Smith decided he would cut his workout short and make up for the lost time later this week.