WASHINGTON, D.C. – As President Trump kicked off his State of the Union speech on Tuesday, he made sure to first acknowledge first lady Melania Trump, who, amidst thunderous applause, looked back from the upper balcony with a level of disdain that signified she has officially reached the “I hate you” phase of her marriage to the Donald.
While many viewers believe she was simply expressing her standard stoic demeanor, sources close to Melania claim that she’s become completely disgusted with Donald behind closed doors.
Throughout his roughly two-hour speech, President Trump continued to praise Melania for the great work she was doing balancing the roles of first lady, mother to Baron, and wife of the leader of the free world.
But, like most husbands, President Trump is reportedly so clueless about Melania’s true feelings that the Slovenian pet names she’s donned on him have gone completely over his head — like “Kurac”, “Sladka Vata Hari”, “Neumni Debeli Kurac”. Unbeknownst to Donald, these nicknames roughly translate to “dickhead”, “cotton candy hair”, and “stupid fat fuck”.
At press time, the President announced he was launching an investigation to figure out which radical leftist pinned his headshot on the White House dart board.
Leave a Reply