MACON, GA – Police were called to the scene of a Georgia Walmart when a large, obese woman started screaming uncontrollably when she rode past the produce wall on her mobile scooter, terrified at the sight of the “strange green thing.”
Although staff members attempted to explain to the confused fatty boombatty that they were just vegetables, the woman remained adamant in her belief that they were alien larvae about to hatch and take over the world.
As people gathered around the commotion, officers found it harder to defuse the situation since most of the other shoppers, including the few who weighed less than 250 pounds, also didn’t know what vegetables were.
One officer at the scene said that he “spent 20 minutes trying to explain to a man in overalls that blue was not a natural food color and that Bok Choi was not an alien code for “Kill Humans”.
As the pandemonium continued to grow, officers eventually gave up the fight, realizing that most of the community would die from diabetes in a few months.