Biden Takes Mental Competency Test By Blindly Taste Testing Ice Cream Flavors

WASHINGTON, D.C. - After being deemed too mentally unfit to be prosecuted for mishandling classified documents, Biden decided to prove his competency by taking a test of his choosing - blindly taste testing 10 different ice cream flavors.

“I’m happy to report that I uh… my doctors, they taste tested me this morning. I mean they erm… they made me taste test ice cream. Blindfolded. I got a perfect score,” Biden told reporters on the south lawn. “Well, almost a perfect score. I would have gotten the last one if they didn’t trick me with Neapolitan. There’s too many flavors in that one - nobody could have got it. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube later.”

When asked by Fox News’ Peter Doocy if the administration was joking at a press conference later that day, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, “First of all, I find it incredibly insulting that you would even suggest the President is not mentally competent. Like I’ve said ten times already this week, Biden is as sound and brilliant as he has ever been in his life. Secondly, I’d like to see you guess 15 ice cream flavors. In fact, I’d like to see it right now.” As she stared down Doocy, she motioned for interns in the hallway to wheel in a table with new bowls of ice cream and continued to taunt the reporter. “C’mon. Let’s see it. If you think it’s so easy.” 

At press time, President Biden stunned the press corps and White House staff when he wandered into the room in his underwear.