Cory Booker Breaks Record For Most Adult Diapers Soiled In A Senate Session

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Senator Cory Booker received widespread praise from Democratic colleagues after breaking the record for the longest filibuster ever recorded in the Senate chamber.

While his 25-hour filibuster was an impressive achievement, it was overshadowed by an even more remarkable feat: Booker used seven adult diapers throughout the course of the speech—surpassing Senator Harry Reid’s record of six in 2008.

“I stand here today committed to speaking up against the filth spewing out of President Trump’s mouth, just like the filth filling up my diaper right now,” Booker proclaimed at hour 17 of his speech.

While Booker takes pride in his accomplishment, the Senate page tasked with changing and disposing of his diapers had a far less pleasant experience.

“The first few weren’t so bad, but diaper number four was revolting,” the page said. “Someone must have brought him a bowl of chili to snack on during his speech because that’s exactly how it looked when I changed the last few. It was humiliating, but I’ll do anything to take down President Trump—even changing a grown man’s diaper.”

At press time, Booker admitted that while the diapers were convenient, he plans to have a port-a-potty installed next to the Senate podium for future grandstanding efforts.