D.C. Changes ‘Black Lives Matter Plaza’ To ‘Back Of The Bus Plaza’

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Facing pressure from the Trump administration, the D.C. municipal government is renaming the ‘Black Lives Matter Plaza’ near the White House to the ‘Back Of The Bus Plaza’.

Reports show that Mayor Muriel Bowser was considering a handful of names given to her by city council members that would have carried on the legacy of the original name, including Martin Luther King Jr. Plaza, Barack Obama Plaza, and John Lewis Plaza. 

But an 11th-hour demand by President Trump forced Bowser's hand when he threatened to unleash “genetically modified super rats” and shut down her favorite nail salon unless she fulfilled his request.

When asked about the name change, President Trump said, “Look, I love black people. Nobody loves black people more than I do. But Muriel is a nasty woman and I can’t wait to see her explain to the great people of this city why she gave that street such a stupid, silly name. It’s really quite funny when you think about it.”

Following the announcement, thousands of African American residents protested outside of Mayor Bowser’s home.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to do this” Bowser pleaded with the angry mob from her balcony. “I had no choice. It’s all Trump’s fault. As a black woman, I’m just as devastated by this as you all are but I can’t live with them press ons!”

At press time, Trump again threatened that he would unleash hell on the city unless Bowser stated publicly that she hates fried chicken.