Fetterman Demands Trump Crack Down On Sonic The Hedgehog

WASHINGTON, D.C. - During Monday’s meeting with El Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele, President Trump joked that he would follow in the footsteps of his new dictator buddy and get so aggressive on deporting illegal immigrants that he would even kick Speedy Gonzales out of the country if he ran into him.

Shortly after the meeting, Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman, dressed in an oversized red trench coat that accentuated his potbelly and tight black pants that went far above his waist, told CNN’s Kate Bolduan that while he appreciates the sentiment, he thinks Trump should go even further and devote the full power of ICE to finding and deporting another devious furry creature - Sonic the Hedgehog.

Unsure if the Senator was suffering another stroke or had just completely lost it, Bolduan followed up by asking if he was serious.

Fetterman then doubled down on his statement shouting, “What do you think I’m some imbecile?!” while twirling his beard and maniacally waving his arms up and down. 

Later that day, Infowars Chief Alex Jones broke the news that he had definitive evidence that Senator Fetterman was secretly Dr. Eggman and part of an elite globalist cabal seeking to build a robotic army to eliminate humanity.

Sensing that his cover was compromised, Fetterman hopped in his Egg Carrier spacecraft and scurried out of the nation’s capital back to the Egg Fleet.