‘Fight Oligarchy’ Rallygoers Confused Why Bernie Sanders And AOC Want To Fight An Old Wooden Ship

DENVER, CO - In a bid to position themselves as frontrunners in the currently leaderless Democratic Party, Sen. Bernie Sanders and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have teamed up for a nationwide rally series aimed at mobilizing Americans against the Trump administration. 

Dubbed the "Fight Oligarchy" tour, the campaign has drawn hundreds of thousands of liberal activists to events across the country.

However, many attendees seem baffled by the rally’s core message—specifically, what "oligarchy" even means.

“I think it’s like an old wooden ship,” one attendee speculated. “Wasn’t it in Pirates of the Caribbean? Or maybe it's an old-timey cruise line? I know it has something to do with boats, but I’m just confused why we’re fighting against it. Who cares… All I know is: FUCK TRUMP!”

Other rallygoers surveyed confirmed that almost no one in attendance knew that “oligarchy” referred to a tyrannical form of government—with some offering other possible definitions like a garlicky pasta dish at Olive Garden, a town in Eastern Europe, or a severe medical condition.

At press time, Sanders and AOC were brainstorming potential new slogans that their base was more likely to understand like “Rich Orange Man Bad”, “Money People Evil”, and “Trump No Good”.