Trump Team Relieved Nobody Sent Any Wiener Pics To The ‘War Plans’ Group Chat

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Trump administration is in hot water after National Security Adviser Mike Waltz accidentally added Atlantic reporter Jeffrey Goldberg to a group chat containing war plans against the Houthi regime in Yemen.

While the mistake has potentially damning national security consequences and triggered an immediate congressional hearing, the cabinet members are relieved that nobody sent any wiener pics to the chat.

“War plans, shmore plans,” Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said in a press conference Wednesday morning. “The Houthis are still running around in caves. Even if they knew about our plans, there’s nothing they could do to stop it. The real saving grace here is that nobody on our team sent a wiener pic to the group chat. That kind of thing you can’t come back from.”

Despite Hegseth’s defense, President Trump is furious at his team for the mistake.

“This kind of thing is unacceptable, and I’m very angry,” the President claimed. “But, it could have been a lot worse. According to Barron, the guys on our team – JD, Pete, Kash, Mike – are ‘broskis’ and I commend them for not sending pictures of their junk, especially around the ladies.”

An anonymous source within the Trump administration confirmed that some were fearful of a  potential nude photo scandal since in almost every cabinet meeting, Hegseth mentions he’s going to drop a “big payload” on the Middle East while grabbing his crotch. He has even reportedly asked senior aides if they wanted to see the latest design of the new bombs the DOD was developing before sending a picture of his balls. 

At press time, Vice President JD Vance was seen frantically deleting the administration’s group chats titled “Dank Memes For Trump Teens”, “Congressional Baddies”, and “Libtards”.