Scott Presler Offers To Send Voters A Lock Of Hair If They Show Up To The Polls

MADISON, WI - With political science nerds getting riled up for the results of tonight’s Wisconsin Supreme Court election, Republican activist Scott Presler is making a last-ditch effort to get voters to turn out to the polls by offering to send them a lock of his hair.

“Hi Friend, this is Scott Presler. I have a serious request. The future of our country is on the line tonight. If Brad Schimel loses, America will instantly transform into a socialist utopia and Satan will rape your children. That’s why I desperately need you to show up and vote tonight. In exchange, I’ll send you a lock of my luscious hair. Let me know where I should send your lock of hair here >>,” the text read.

Presler, who has become a cult figure in the MAGA movement after helping flip Pennsylvania for President Trump in 2024, instantly received thousands of replies.

“Oh my God! YES, YES, YES!,” one voter wrote back to the mass automated message. 

“I’ll show up and vote twice, three times, four times if I have to for you Scott. I even have the perfect place for a lock of your hair on my mantel! Right next to my portrait of President Trump riding a dinosaur and shooting commies,” another wrote back.

After the text went live, exit polls showed Republican-backed Brad Schimel up 24% as hundreds of voters feverishly checked their phones to let Scott Presler know they had done their due diligence and waited to see if they were the lucky winner

At press time, Presler sent another mass text offering to have sex with anybody who gives $500 or more to the RNC before the polls close.