The Gas Lamp

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With Joe Nearly Out Of Office, Hunter Biden Ventures Into New Line Of Business

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the sun sets on Joe Biden’s five-decade-long political career, recently pardoned son Hunter is venturing into a new line of business to make ends meet: Hunter’s Snow Blowing Services.

According to an anonymous source, the former Burisma board member has few other career choices since he’s been banned from lobbying and practicing law, and is only skilled in networking, drinking, and doing drugs. 

D.C. residents first discovered Hunter’s new occupation in an ad on NBC4 Washington.

“Do you live in the DMV? Do you have too much snow? Well, I’m Hunter, and I'm here to help. I know a thing or two about making snow disappear. And as my dad always tells me, I can blow snow faster than anybody. So if you want me to do some lines in your neighborhood, call 1-800-382-SNOW now, and I’ll blow it all!”

Since the ad started airing last week, residents have also reported seeing Hunter frantically running up and down neighborhoods in the nation’s capital trying to clear snow with a pool noodle, which some think resembles a rolled-up dollar bill.

At press time, Trump said that he would not hire Hunter’s company to clear snow at the White House due to fears that having Hunter around would cause Donald Jr. and Eric to relapse.