Politics
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Trump Brings Back Wrongfully Deported Guatemalan Man After Seeing Disastrous State of White House Lawn
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a rare admission of guilt, the Trump administration brought back a Guatemalan immigrant who was wrongfully deported to Mexico. According to sources, Trump realized he might have made a mistake in deporting some of the Hispanic White House groundskeepers when he discovered the disastrous state of the South Lawn during an
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Trump Finds “1 Free Extra Term” Coupon In White House Attic As Proof He Can Run Again
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Adding to the list of things that are throwing Democrats into a spiral, President Trump announced earlier last week that he plans to “work around” the 22nd Amendment and seek a third term in 2028. When grilled by reporters in a press conference on Monday afternoon, Trump pulled a crumpled document from
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Disgusting! Trump’s Press Secretary Gives Upside-Down Nazi Salute At Press Conference
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Just a few weeks after Elon Musk seemingly flashed a Nazi salute during a post-Inauguration rally, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt further confirmed the administration’s fascist undertones by giving an inverted Nazi salute while pointing to a reporter in Friday’s press conference. As White House correspondents blurted out questions, Leavitt rapidly
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Nation Wondering If We’ll Get New Civil War Uniforms Or Have To Wear Same Ugly Ones As Last Time
With fears of a civil war breaking out after the election, many Americans are asking an important question: Will we have to wear the same blue and gray cotton outfits as the last civil war, or will we get to wear something more stylish and comfortable? A new poll released on Monday showed that 72%
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Somalia and Ethiopia Agree To End Decade-Long War Over Seven Goats
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA – With wars in the Middle East and Eastern Europe still raging on, the world got slightly more peaceful on Friday after Somalia and Ethiopia agreed to end nearly a decade-long war over seven goats. The war, which began in the summer of 2015, has seen more than 500,000 military casualties and nearly
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In Latest Undercover Operation, James O’Keefe Exposes A Satanic, Mouse-Worshipping Casino That Brainwashes Children
ALBANY, NY – In his latest undercover investigation, Project Veritas founder James O’Keefe exposed another one of the left’s plots to brainwash America’s youth through a satanic, mouse-worshiping child casino, commonly known as Chuck E. Cheese’s. “I’m standing here in front of the beast they call ‘Chuck’,” O’Keefe said in his exposé. “Every half hour,
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Al-Qaeda Leader Rethinks Life Choices After Harrowing Experience Opening A Can Of Biscuits
The leader of Al-Qaeda, Saif al-Adel, announced on Friday that he will soon be stepping down from his position after a life-altering experience opening a can of Pillsbury biscuits. Upon opening the can of biscuits, al-Adel was reportedly so startled by the mini-explosion and discovered how terrifying it was to be on the receiving end
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Ketanji Brown Jackson Arrives At Inauguration In Stunning $19.99 Seashell Necklace From Sunsations
WASHINGTON, D.C. – As the world gathered to watch President Trump’s inauguration on Monday, few could ignore the glamorous outfits donned by Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump, and Usha Vance. But perhaps the most eye-catching accessory was the cowrie seashell necklace worn by Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. According to a spokesperson for Brown Jackson,
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Trump Reminds Indian PM, Modi, That He Can’t Poop On The White House Lawn
WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Thursday, President Trump invited Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi to the White House with the goal of extending the United States’ longstanding diplomatic ties with the South Asian nation. While Modi was initially excited to be back, his mood quickly changed when Trump pulled him aside to remind him that he
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“This Is Unprecedented!” Cry Democrats Over Something That Happens All The Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after storming out of President Trump’s address to Congress Tuesday night, a handful of prominent Democrats took to social media to rant about how Trump’s actions during the first month of his second term are “completely unprecedented” and a “danger to democracy”. “This is not normal!” Sen. Bernie Sanders shouted on
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Retired U.S. General Ready To Tout Whichever Stance On Ukraine War Will Make Him More Money
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A retired U.S. General, who last served in the Bush administration, resurfaced after years of staying silent on relevant military and political issues to make his expert voice heard on the Ukraine war. With no genuine opinion and a desperate need for cash, the General prepared a slate of blanket statements, refusing
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St. Patrick Descends From Heaven to Rid Ireland of Snakes Once Again
DUBLIN, IRELAND – More than 1,500 years after his death, St. Patrick descended from heaven on Monday to save his country from the hordes of Muslim immigrants who’ve taken over and the Irish politicians responsible, just as he once saved Ireland from snakes. According to St. Patrick, he first learned about the invasion of his