Politics
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Trump Worried China Has Too Many Red Flags
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With energy prices around the world continuing to rise, President Trump reportedly backed out of negotiations with China to reopen the Straight of Hormuz, citing an abrupt concern that they have too many red flags to continue the talks. “I spoke to President Xi Jinping on a video call over the weekend,”…
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10 Things As Bad As Jim Crow Laws According To Chuck Schumer
Earlier this week, President Trump announced that he would not sign any new legislation until the SAVE Act was passed. In protest, an angry Sen. Chuck Schumer called the bill “Jim Crow 2.0”, suggesting that nationwide voter ID laws are as discriminatory as the segregation policies of the 60’s. This being the 384th time Schumer…
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Dems Demand Trump Get Congressional Approval To Kill Sand People
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Congressional Democrats are furious about President Trump’s recent and unexpected decision to go to war with Iran, demanding that he get official approval to “kill sand people” before going any further. “President Trump’s actions are utterly unconstitutional,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said in a press conference on Wednesday. “We strongly condemn…
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Mexico Regains ‘Major Shithole’ Status
Following the assassination of drug kingpin El Mencho, chaos has erupted across Mexico as cartels have wreaked havoc on towns across the country, terrorizing millions of residents and travelers. Over the past few years, Mexico has reportedly gotten safer for international visitors as the new generation of cartel leaders have made efforts to prioritize business…
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Melania Officially Reaches Final ‘I Hate You’ Phase Of Marriage
WASHINGTON, D.C. – As President Trump kicked off his State of the Union speech on Tuesday, he made sure to first acknowledge first lady Melania Trump, who, amidst thunderous applause, looked back from the upper balcony with a level of disdain that signified she has officially reached the “I hate you” phase of her marriage…
