Politics
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Nation Wondering If We’ll Get New Civil War Uniforms Or Have To Wear The Same Ones As Last Time
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Ohio Town Renames Itself ‘Iran’ In Hopes Of Getting Federal Rebuilding Funds
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Al Green Looking For Much Needed Rest Back In His Cave
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Americans Collectively Hold Breath For 10 Minutes In Memory Of George Floyd
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Susan Collins Flexes Her Own Nazi Tattoo, Surges In Polls
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Obama Mourns Fallen Drones This Memorial Day
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DNC Finally Comes To Conclusion That Nominating Two Retards Probably Not The Best Electoral Strategy
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Trump To Name New White House Addition ‘The Jeffrey E. Epstein Memorial Ballroom’
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Trump Announces Plans To Rebuild Pentagon Into Star Of David
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AOC Presidential Poll Numbers Continue To Rise With Every Pound She Gains
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Eric Trump Threatens To Sue Jen Psaki For Not Hypothetically Agreeing To Have Sex With Him
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Texas Doctors Struggling To Determine Which Penis To Put Back On Detransitioning Teens
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Thomas Massie Facing Allegations Of Being An All-Around Great Guy
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JD Vance, Kash Patel, & Pete Hegseth Throw Rager With Dad Out Of The House
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Late Night Hosts Beat The View Ladies In Concentrated Levels Of Estrogen
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Kash Patel Launches Nationwide Hotline To Report Your Neighbors For Anti-Israel Thought Crimes
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Dr. Fauci and Bill Gates Caught Sneaking Out Of Hantavirus Cruise Boat
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Opioid Addicts Rejoice As Trump Promises To Lower Prescription Drug Costs
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Freshman Congressman Carries Out Orders To Kill The Bill
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Trump Admin Rescinds UFO Files After Discovering Aliens Were On Epstein’s Island Too
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CDC Releases New Dance Routines In Preparation For Hantavirus Outbreak
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Mark Levin Looks To Boost Dwindling Digital Revenue With New Line Of Israeli Flag Butt Plugs
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FBI Finds Captive Interns In Katie Porter’s Basement
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Doctors Perform Emergency Hair Dye Replacement On Rudy Giuliani
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Ilhan Omar Shocked Halal Wine Business Didn’t Take Off
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Trump Worried China Has Too Many Red Flags
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Trump Appoints Seal As Next Secretary Of The Navy
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Kristi Noem’s Husband Stuns In New Victoria’s Secret Ad
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“Nothing An Italian Beef Can’t Solve” Says Pope Leo On Possible Solution To Iran War
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10 Things As Bad As Jim Crow Laws According To Chuck Schumer
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Majority Of Americans Distracted From The Distraction Meant To Distract From The Other Distraction
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Downed Iranian Drone Gets 72 Virgin Memory Cards In Robot Heaven
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Dems Demand Trump Get Congressional Approval To Kill Sand People
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Mexico Regains ‘Major Shithole’ Status
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Melania Officially Reaches Final ‘I Hate You’ Phase Of Marriage
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Trump Claims He’s The Best U.S. President Since The Last Time He Was President
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Investigators Find Really Cool Rock Outside Nancy Guthrie’s Home
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AOC Demands To Have A Word With The Tiny Mustache Guy During Germany Visit
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Nicki Minaj Excited To Headline First Official White House Twerk Off
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Iran Threatens Deadly Strikes On U.S. Once They Figure Out How To Make Planes Take Off
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Conservative Japanese Prime Minister Vows To End Frivolous Giggling
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Federal Fraud Investigation Finds Hundreds Of Gold Coins In Ilhan Omar’s Hijab
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Facing PR Crisis, ICE Implements New, Less Violent Methods Of Catching Illegals
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Pam Bondi Champions First Amendment By Punishing Anyone Who Criticizes Administration
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Doug Burgum Promises 25% Increase In Eyebrow Thickness For Every American
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Trump Mobilizes D-Team Army Reserves To Take Greenland
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Trump Brings Back Wrongfully Deported Guatemalan Man After Seeing Disastrous State of White House Lawn
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Trump Finds “1 Free Extra Term” Coupon In White House Attic As Proof He Can Run Again
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Disgusting! Trump’s Press Secretary Gives Upside-Down Nazi Salute At Press Conference
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Somalia and Ethiopia Agree To End Decade-Long War Over Seven Goats
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In Latest Undercover Operation, James O’Keefe Exposes A Satanic, Mouse-Worshipping Casino That Brainwashes Children
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Al-Qaeda Leader Rethinks Life Choices After Harrowing Experience Opening A Can Of Biscuits
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Trump Reminds Indian PM, Modi, That He Can’t Poop On The White House Lawn
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“This Is Unprecedented!” Cry Democrats Over Something That Happens All The Time
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Retired U.S. General Ready To Tout Whichever Stance On Ukraine War Will Make Him More Money
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St. Patrick Descends From Heaven to Rid Ireland of Snakes Once Again
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Hypocrite! RFK Jr. Caught Abusing Cheeto Dust In Bathroom Stall Before Meeting With Food Execs
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Cory Booker Breaks Record For Most Adult Diapers Soiled In A Senate Session
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Trump Recounts Favorite Bible Verse Where Jesus and the Easter Bunny Battle Leprechauns to Save Judea
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Fetterman Demands Trump Crack Down On Sonic The Hedgehog
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Local 5th-Grader Shunned For Not Having Nuanced Opinion On Israel-Palestine Conflict
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Republicans and Democrats Agree To Ban Women From Women’s Sports
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Iran Inches Closer To Nuclear Weapons By Successfully Taking Apart A Microwave And Putting It Back Together
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Rep. Thanedar Bumped Down A Caste Level After Failed Impeachment Attempt
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Saudi Crown Prince Shows Trump Cool New Way To Get Rid Of Illegal Immigrants
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Sources Reveal Auto-Pen Allegedly Responsible For Shitting Biden’s Pants
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“It’s Not Genocide If We Don’t Consider Them Human Beings,” Claims South African President
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Shotgun-Wielding Trump Pressures Massie Not To Hurt His “Big, Beautiful” Tax Bill
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Maxine Waters Fined $68K After FEC Discovers Hundreds of Campaign Expenses at Monique’s Discount Wig Emporium
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ICE Gives Illegal Immigrants Rare Chance To Stay In America Through Game Of Musical Chairs
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In Response To Golden Dome, China Announces Plan to Build Golden Special #5 Defense System
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‘Fight Oligarchy’ Rally Goers Confused Why Bernie Sanders And AOC Want To Fight An Old Wooden Ship
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Liz Cheney Performs Ancient Native American Prayer Dance To Keep The January 6 Ghosts Away
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Ketanji Brown Jackson Arrives At Inauguration In Stunning $19.99 Seashell Necklace From Sunsations
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Dems Attempt To Prove They’re Party Of Rational Discourse By Screaming Unintelligible Nonsense In The Freezing Cold
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Trump’s Honorary Secret Service Boy Turns Off Body Cam During Hallway Patrol Altercation
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Chameleons Hold Press Conference To Distance Themselves From Kamala Harris
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White House Celebrates Memorial Day By Honoring Brave Men And Women Who’ve Died In Botched Gender Reassignment Surgeries
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Trump and Harris Remain Turkey Neck And Turkey Neck In The Polls On Election Eve
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Haitian Warlord Barbecue Promotes Brisket, Collards, And Cornbread To Lieutenant Generals